How to get your mojo back (back in the mood):
Get a good night's sleep.
Disturbed sleep leads to a reduction in the male
hormone testosterone, which boosts both your libidos.
Take responsibility for your libido.
Don't expect your partner to turn you on, do it
yourself! Make it your mission to pinpoint what gets you in the mood for sex
then do more of it.
Let your imagination loose.
Don't be ashamed of your fantasies and refuse to
feel guilty if having sex with someone other than your partner is one of them. Being unfaithful in reality isn't on but
it's OK to do it in your head. Really. One survey found around 75% of us do
it to keep sex fresh.
 |
Many factors contribute to a healthy relationship between couples |
Meet halfway.
If you don't want intercourse, what about oral
sex? If you don't want oral sex or any sex yourself, do you mind pleasuring
them? At the very least, you can and should be able to offer the physical
intimacy of a cuddle.
Focus on sex, don't avoid it.
If you're constantly being hassled for it, sex
is often the last thing you want to watch or read about. Low libido people
often avert their eyes when they see nudity, a sexy scene on telly or in the
movies or flip the page if they hit a story in the newspapers or glossies.
Don't. It's just as easy to think yourself into
sex than it is to talk yourself out of it and the more often you expose
yourself to sexy literature and images, the sexier you'll feel.
Know what you want and need to be satisfied
sexually.
And I'm talking both in, and out of, bed. If you
need to relax first, don't be scared to ask for a massage. Or for them to do
the dishes while you take a bath or shower.
Give sex a high priority in your life.
If you're avoiding it or not interested, chances
are it's the last thing you do, last thing at night. Well – Gosh! – funnily
enough, even high sex drive people sometimes wonder if it's worth the effort
when they're exhausted after a long day at work.
Get into a routine where you and your partner
have chat-time then sex before you start dinner and switch the TV on. Or if you
really are too stressed during the week, have breakfast in bed on the weekends
and make that sex time.
Get your body clocks in sync.
A morning person matched with a night time one?
If this is you, take turns on the time of day you make love. And try sex mid
morning, midday and mid afternoon, not just morning or night
Sex does NOT equal intercourse.
Plenty of people (women especially) don't orgasm
through intercourse alone, so tend to find penetrative sex quite boring. If sex
is boring, it's no wonder you're not desperate to dive into bed! The more you
mix up what you do, the higher the interest.
Don't relax!
Instead, focus on the erotic sensations you're
feeling. Tighten the muscles of your thighs, bottom, lower tummy and pelvic
floor muscles to help trigger an orgasmic reflex.
Set up a craving cycle.
Without wanting to point out the obvious, orgasms
feel good. If something feels good, our body – quite logically – says 'more
please' and sulks if we don't obey by developing either psychological or
physical cravings when denied it’s high.
The more sex you have, the more you want. We
quickly forget how great sex can be. Have good sex often and you're constantly
reminded of all the physical and emotional pluses.
Main contribution by Tracy Cox